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It changed my life. I now know that sex can wait until marriage and even though I love the person I'm dating, I can wait.

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Refusal Skills

How to Handle Pick-up Lines and other Unwanted Advances


If you want to find the truth behind the line, just remove the "n".

For each "line" that you hear, there's always a clever come back line or "linebacker." For example:

the line - "if you love me, then you will"
the linebacker - "if you truly loved me, you won't ask."

Just like a linebacker on a football field is a team's second line of defense, so should be your verbal response.

So What's Your First Line of Defense?

Your first line of defense is actually your body posture and nonverbals. Did you know that nonverbals make up 55% of your communication? If you are being asked to engage in behavior that you don't wish to, make sure your body lines up with your words!

The pictures below show the dramatic difference in nonverbals: one is refusing, the other is inviting. Understand how to use your body. To say no with your body, do the following:

  • Stand upright with shoulders back
  • Stiffen your posture and keep your head up
  • Plant your feet firmly
  • Make eye contact
  • Keep your hands at your side or extended into the stop gesture
  • Keep facial expressions firm

Refusal Skills - Refusing

Refusal Skills - Inviting

Refusing

Inviting

Need Help Coming Up With Some Linebackers?

Below are some bookmarks we handout in the classroom that can give you some great ideas!

Be Ready for the Line
Item Number 832
New Comebacks for Old Come-ons
Item Number 853
Used with permission © 2001 Life Cycle Books Ltd. www.Lifecyclebooks.com